Friday, December 21, 2007

Tis the season to be jolly.

As the carol goes - "It's beginning to feel like Christmas...".

Most people are on their Christmas/New Year break now. The upcoming week and a half of rest and relaxation always put people in a good mood. Traveling to work today was a breeze. Traffic was smooth and there was not many people waiting at the bus stops along the way.

People that I meet around this time of year are usually chatty, cheery and relaxed. Even strangers. In this festive season, everybody's got something to talk about after the usual 'How are yous?'. If it wasn't for the holiday season, strangers, myself or a 'Hi-Bye' friend would comment about the weather which is usually a sign for, 'Look, I'm racking my brains trying to come up with a topic for conversation and I've got nothing.'. The question - 'What are you doing for the long break?' usually gets the banter going until it ends with a polite farewell and the season's greeting which is very pleasant.

Instead of being harassed to get a job done on an unreasonable deadline from a client or a third party, there were a few incidences this week that could only be explained as one of the many miracles of Christmas.

The usual tightly wound nutters that have my balls at the palm of their hands said with a smile and cheer in their tone of voice, 'Oh, don't worry. We'll deal with it in the new year.'. Now if it was any other month of the year, they would have squeezed.

One of them initially asked us to prepare all the information for a meeting that she wanted to have on the last day before most offices close for the year. She did this with a letter and a couple of stern phone calls. We left 3 messages with her since last week and she finally calls yesterday to say that she was going on holidays and we're postponing the meeting till next year.

If I was a newbie, I would've stressed on her unreasonable demands but knowing the organisation that she works for, I knew that there was no way she would have a meeting on the last day before we break for the holidays. In fact, they would've already been in holiday mode a whole week before the official closing date. What she said to me initially was probably right before the Christmas drug kicked in. The reason for my calls were basically to tell her that she's dreaming but she beat me to the punchline.

The feeling of Christmas for me here in Australia is very much different from Malaysia. In Malaysia, it's church service in the morning, big meals at restaurants or a party and hanging out in malls. In fact, every public holiday we get we somehow end up in malls.

Over here, everything is closed unless 7-Eleven's your dig. So, it has more of a homely and family oriented feeling to it. I'd even say it's more relaxed cos' hanging out at a beach where your eyeballs and mind get to stretch out a little and not caring about anything besides flies getting in your mouth seems pretty good to me.

Merry Christmas and stay safe on the roads.

PS: I've heard flies are a good source of protein so, don't fret too much.

PPS: *Do not open until after Christmas* I lied.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

I love this homo.


HOUSTON -- Coach Phil Jackson said he deserved the reprimand he got from the NBA on Wednesday for making a sexual reference in a comment following the Los Angeles Lakers' loss in San Antonio.

The Spurs made 13 3-pointers in their 107-92 victory on Tuesday night, and Jackson was asked if too much penetration was leading to open outside shooters.

"We call this a 'Brokeback Mountain' game, because there's so much penetration and kickouts," Jackson said. "It was one of those games."

The 2005 film, which won three Oscars, depicts two cowboys who conceal their homosexual affair.

"But in retrospect, it wasn't really funny," Jackson said before the Lakers played Houston on Wednesday night. "When you take it out of context, it wasn't funny. It was a poor attempt at humor and I deserved to be reprimanded by the NBA."

Still, Jackson couldn't resist making another joke as he apologized.

"If I've offended any horses, Texans, cowboys or gays, I apologize," Jackson said.
Jackson thanked beat writers and other journalists who covered Tuesday's game for dismissing the comment as an innocent joke. He said several of them laughed when he said it.

The NBA did not.

NBA spokesman Brian McIntyre said: "The remarks are in poor taste, and the Lakers have assured us such remarks will not occur in the future."

Jackson admitted he should've known better -- that coaches can't get away with the jokes that Jay Leno and David Letterman do for a living on their late-night talk shows.

"It's societal right now," he said. "Some people can do it. Some people can't. That's something that's appropriate for certain categories."

Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD) president Neil G. Giuliano issued a statement saying: "Phil Jackson's been coaching long enough that he should be able to talk about the Lakers' performance without resorting to cheap gay jokes."

Copyright 2007 by The Associated Press

Hahaha! Cheap gay jokes? I thought it was GOLD! Who says the zen master has no sense of humour? I thought Phil Jackson's comment was downright appropriate and hilarious. C'mon, thirteen 3s in a game? Were all 5 Lakers hugging Duncan in the post or what?

Okok, he got fined, which is fair enough cos' we don't want the NBA getting in trouble with the Hollywood heavyweights for NBA teams scooping up the writers on strike to write their post-game interviews.

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See you in the showers.*Muaks*

Maybe the C league should have fined these guys too?

Some more funny sports quotes:

"My sister's expecting a baby,and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt."
Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice

"I told him, 'Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said, 'Coach, I don't know and I don't care.' "
Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player

"Son, looks to me like you're spending too much time on one subject."
Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he told a player who received four F's and one D

"He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn't like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces."
Basketball analyst

"Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
Joe Theismann in 2002. It turns out that Joe Theismann went to high school with a Norman Einstein, who was the class valedictorian.

"Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field."
Metro Radio, College Football

"You guys line up alphabetically by height."
Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach

"I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father."
Greg Norman, Pro Golfer

"One of the reasons Arnie Palmer is playing so well is that, before each final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them. Oh my God, what have I just said."
US Open TV Commentator

"The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical to the one in front of the similar one in back."
Grand Prix Race Announcer

"This is really a lovely horse and I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her mother."
Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator

"This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing."
Weightlifting commentator at the Olympic Snatch and Jerk Event

"We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees."
Jason Kidd, upon his drafting to the Dallas Mavericks

Friday, October 05, 2007

The Beast.

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Looks like the Hummers have arrived Down Under. I saw the limo parked outside a hotel here in the CBD, presumably to attract attention. Well, it did just that with many stopping to have a perve.

400 pre-sold H3s are being delivered to their owners around the country this week. I like Hummers but I don't get their practicability. The interior of the H1 is top notch but with it taking close to 2 lanes on the road, it's going to be a major pain in the buttocks driving around. People will be hurling abuse and it's guaranteed to get keyed if it was to be parked in a shopping mall.

The H3 is retailing for around AU$60,000 for the luxury model. It ain't that bad but I don't even want to think about the fuel cost and maintenance for these babies.

Friday, September 28, 2007

A helping hand.

There was an article in the papers last week on Chuck (Charles) Feeney, the billionaire philanthropist. Now, when somebody talks about billionaire philanthropists, Bill Gates and Warren Buffett comes to my mind. I’ve never even heard of this dude but his story is truly inspiring.

Okay, at this point, most of us are thinking that with billions, he can afford to be charitable but would you give MOST of it away? I’ve heard of Warren Buffett being thrifty but Feeney takes the cake. He’s one of those rare individuals that have their priorities so right that I can’t help but admire him. Here’s a guy that can have most material things but travels by bus (at least Buffett owns a car), flies coach, doesn't own a house and carries his documents in a plastic bag!

I find his humility and modesty very humbling, especially when we live in a world where between chasing the dollar and spending the dollar on having a good time, very little or no time is left for anything else. Sure, having a good time is everybody’s right but when we’re nearing the end of our lives, will we be happier knowing that we’ve lived a life based on indulgence or a life where we’ve helped make a difference in somebody’s life? One thing’s for sure, the memory of one of those choices lives on long after we’ve become one with the earth.

I have stopped believing that my donations to major charities would help since learning of the six figure salaries of some of the management staff of major charities and reading on how much is spent on administration. I realised how much of the donor’s money is not reaching the people that needs them most. Friends and acquaintances have defended the cause to pay top dollar to have the right people and facilities to organise initiatives but I fail to see the logic behind how more money goes into supporting the charity’s infrastructure than the cause itself. Of course, this is just me. I’m not trying to convert anyone or stir up a debate.

I now give money to my humble little church (when I attend) because they use the money to keep the place running and once in a while, I’ll send a cheque to the publishers of Our Daily Bread because I believe in their cause. When I receive gifts like chocolates from the office during Easter or Christmas, I usually give it to the homeless on my travels to and from the train station. Although these are not life changing gestures and I should really be doing much more by contributing my time towards a worthy cause, I do believe that we need to do something to help the needy. Anything.

More on Chuck Feeney

Monday, September 24, 2007


So, I went to the gym last Friday evening for a long overdue workout. Friday evenings at the gym is normally a quiet affair because the female gym junkies are back home picking out a push-up bra, waxing and putting on the finishing touches to that 12th layer of foundation to hide those vein popping arms from all those bicep curls in anticipation of a night of hardcore partying. They hope that by the end of all that preparation, they are able to step out looking like a WWE Diva instead of Xena, warrior princess or the She Hulk.

The male gym junkies on the other hand is home trying to make their bodies smell like a perfume counter and picking out an outfit that they recently bought from the kid’s section of a departmental store. Nothing defines a sexy man like bulging muscles ready to rip through those tight constricting clothes. A word of caution - stay clear if you see shirt buttons that are about to pop because some of these so-called shootings that you hear in clubs are actually buttons with such high velocity that it pierces through human flesh. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. One could go blind or get an instant third nostril from one of these merciless projectiles.

Anyway, after an exhausting session, I went on to hit the showers. There I was enjoying the refreshing gush of warm water massaging my face and chest while trying hard to subdue the reflex of breaking into a song to declare to the world how happy and relaxed I was when I really should’ve been thinking about investing in a pair of Speedos. After a minute or two, I turned around to let my back and my royal buns in on the hot water action. This is when I noticed a camera lens looking at my python!!! A fucking mobile phone was being pointed at me from the opening at the bottom of the shower screens. Instinctively, I stuck out my foot at the lens and shouted, ‘Oi!’, but in hindsight, I should have screamed like a schoolgirl to get some help, roundhouse kicked the doors open and jumped the guy while he’s down. Put it down to shock for the slow reaction which incidentally also reduced the python to an earthworm in a nanosecond. I hurriedly grabbed my towel and went looking for the pervert but he was no where to be found. I made a complaint to the staff, went home and crawled into a fetal position on the bed and proceeded to cry myself to sleep the next couple of days. I was, in a sense, ass-fucked by a mobile phone.

The fucking homo probably has footage of me in the shower plastered all over the www by now or worse, jacking off to a clip of me in the shower. I don’t know how long the dude was there but if I ever see that sicko again, he better be prepared to have that phone jammed up his pee hole.

So, watch your ass in the shower…literally!

Thursday, September 20, 2007

No way Jose!!!

Chelsea have confirmed that manager Jose Mourinho has left the Stamford Bridge club by 'mutual consent' after three trophy-laden years at the helm.

A club statement claims that the decision was reached after the launch of a new Chelsea documentary - Blue Revolution - at the Vue cinema in Fulham on Wednesday night, where an emotional Mourinho refused to talk to the press.

However, the rumours of his departure began earlier in the day and claimed that billionaire owner Roman Abramovich called crisis talks following Tuesday night's disappointing 1-1 draw with Norwegian minnows Rosenborg in the Champions League, at which the fractious duo had a furious falling out.

Mourinho is believed to have informed senior players of his departure following training on Wednesday and one of those players insists that the manager has not resigned but has been sacked by the Blues.

Mourinho's rocky relationship with Abramovich was public knowledge and despite an apparent thaw in relations last season the duo were again at odds over the role of £30million striker Andrei Shevchenko and the Blues' dour style of football even before Tuesday's result brought events to a head.

The Portuguese manager, who has won the Champions League with Porto and two Premier League titles as Chelsea manager, was the subject of continual scrutiny last season and hinted at an exit last summer when he admitted he 'was a bit fed up with certain things' at the club.

After three-years at the London club the self-styled 'Special One' is expected to attend training for the final time on Thursday, when he will say good bye to his players.

Chelsea lost their title to Manchester United last season and have started this campaign with some lacklustre displays.

Their last two Premier League games ended in a defeat at Aston Villa and a 0-0 draw at home to Blackburn Rovers, leaving them fifth in the table.

Tuesday's draw with Rosenborg Trondheim in the Champions League was watched by just 25,000 fans.

Chelsea's next match is against Premier League champions Manchester United at Old Trafford on Sunday.

Jose "the madman" Mourinho getting the sack is just unbelievable. I just can't believe how quickly the decision came.

I'm not a fan of Chelsea by any means, especially when Abramovic bought the team and loaded it with a bunch of superstars. A lot of people, including me, thought that they could've won those silverware with a traffic police as a coach but Jose warmed up to me. He provided plenty of laughs with his antics and mind games both to his players and to other coaches. The comments made between Wenger and the hairdryer, Ferguson, were tame compared to the quotes that he gave us. Some were almost zen like and some were downright hilarious. I'd pay just to go to the press conference, let alone the match.

Madman or genius, what he did in Porto definitely proved his credentials as a top class coach. I can't imagine that he would quit when the going gets tough but in this age of instant everything, coaches are paid to get results. The bigger the pay packet, the more trigger happy the owners are. I just can't digest how quickly the board came to that decision. They showed no mercy to a guy that's won them every domestic trophy. I just don't see Jose going down without a fight though so the boardroom conversation must have went something like this:

Abramovic: You're fired.
Mourinho: What? You can't do that!
Abramovic: Here's $20m.
Mourinho: Ciao.

Man U better eat this team in the next fixture.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Boom! Shake, shake, shake the room.

In today's paper:

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Russia said today it had tested the world's most powerful vacuum bomb.

"Test results of the new airborne weapon have shown that its efficiency and power is commensurate with a nuclear weapon," Alexander Rukshin, deputy head of Russia's armed force chief of staff, told Russia's ORT First Channel television.

"You will now see it in action, the bomb which has no match in the world is being tested at a military site," the report said. It showed a Tupolev Tu-160 strategic bomber dropping the bomb over a testing ground. A large explosion followed.

A vacuum bomb, or fuel-air explosive, causes widespread devastation.

A typical bomb of that type is dropped or fired, the first explosive charge bursts open the container at a predetermined height and disperses the fuel in a cloud that mixes with oxygen.

A second charge ignites the cloud, which can engulf objects or buildings.

"At the same time, I want to stress that the action of this weapon does not contaminate the environment, in contrast to a nuclear one."

So, the Russians have developed a more environmentally friendly way of killing people.

Whoopsidoo! Somebody hand them a Nobel Green Prize already.

These military people are so thoughtful aren't they? It's like they're saying, 'Hey, look on the bright side. We kill in the thousands but we're not monsters. Those of you that were lucky enough to be alive gets to breed without having to worry about your kids turning into a teenage mutant ninja turtle or something. We've even created the hole in which you can build a lake or something. Enjoy and behave or else.'

Not to be outdone, the US is coming up with one that will be fueled entirely with the fart of it's citizens (Made in USA BIATCH!!!). Still in the testing phase, reports have confirmed that they just need to find a way to efficiently bottle the fart because current processes seem to lack the ability to filter out the occasional follow through that comes from its citizens forcing a fart too hard.

Oh well, shit happens. Hello Cold War...

Thursday, September 06, 2007

APEC 2007

The Ah Peks are here.

Going to and from work in the past few days have been surreal. Police everywhere, helicopters up above, high fences and barriers around the cbd area where I work, protesters getting ready to storm the streets, bodyguards with their suits, sunnies and visible earpiece (so cool) hanging outside hotels where the delegates are staying, I felt like I was in the middle of a war zone or a video game.

I've seen some cops harassing people and refraining them from taking photographs in the 'exclusion zone' but no big fights between them and the protesters yet.

Here are some pics of Dubya with the PM and all the Secret Service agents surrounding their arrival. What I wanna' know is where the US convoy get their left-hand-drive Hummers and Cadillacs because I've never seen one on the streets before. I wonder if they came in Air Force 1.

PS: I didn’t know we were being watched by snipers too. Damn, I hope they don't sneeze.

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Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Tiger Woods does a Sir Charles

You know you've made it when the best golfer ever impersonates you.

I wouldn't stand anywhere near Charles Barkley when he's teeing off though.

Friday, August 17, 2007

A second opinion.

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Here’s PART 1

Imagine a doctor telling you that there’s nothing he/she can do to save your father's life. How would you feel?

My colleague, Donna, was told just that. I can only imagine what she and her family must’ve felt. The helplessness and grief knowing that all they could do now is to make the remaining days as comfortable as possible for her father. But fortunately, the lack of compassion and patience showed in her doctor. If she wasn’t a total bitch, they never would have doubted her diagnosis.

Determined not to give up on her father and spurred on by the suspicion that the doctor was more interested in moving on to the next case instead of doing more tests, Donna sought a second opinion.

This very well saved her father’s life.

After running a few more tests, the other doctor was able to diagnose the problem. A course of chemotherapy ensued that got rid of the cancer. He's in recovery now.

BOOM! A new lease on life from a certain death sentence if Donna and her family had heeded the initial doctor's advice. And get this, the bitch actually had the audacity to get upset when Donna told her that she was going to get a second opinion. She went on to say that the tests the second doctor recommended was a waste of time!

Anyway, the bitch who is situated across the retirement village, which Donna’s father resides, sees a lot of patients that live in the village. In fact, when there is an emergency, the caretakers would seek the help of this doctor due to her proximity.

If the way she treated Donna’s father is anything to go by, God knows how many patients she’s murdered. Maybe she’s given up on them because they’re old, maybe she’s incompetent or maybe she’s just got an attitude problem. I don’t know but whatever it is, don’t fool yourself into thinking that every doctor is like Gregory House or the doctors in ER or Grey’s Anatomy that cries when a patient dies or stays up for days exhausting every possible option for every single patient. If you shop around to get the cheapest quote on your mobile phone, do yourself a favour and get a second opinion on a matter of life and death.

The Simpsons...

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Friday, August 10, 2007

I want to be the PM!!!

In today's news...

Queensland Premier Peter Beattie's claim that his dog could win this year's federal election highlighted how cocky Labor was becoming, Prime Minister John Howard said.

Mr Beattie this week said his dog Rusty could lead Labor to victory, with polls showing the coalition government heading for a landslide loss later this year.

Reporter: What do you think of the Mr Beattie’s comments?

Me: Hahahaha! Bullshit! All fucking bullshit! How can that bitch win the election?

Reporter: Er, you do realise that he’s being sarcastic don’t you Mr. PM? Also, Rusty
is a male dog.

Me: I wasn’t referring to Rusty.

Reporter: So, what are your strategies to curb this freefall in voter’s sentiments?

Me: We will give the voters more money.

Reporter: Huh? What do you mean?

Me: Well, under my government, Australians have enjoyed the baby bonus, the 1st home
buyer’s grant, the entrepreneur tax offset, lower personal tax rates and higher
income thresholds. Clearly, this isn’t enough. So, we’re working on a
collaboration with several companies to provide families with white goods branded
with an “I love my government. Go Liberals! OI! OI! OI!” slogan. We’ve already
got Sony on board and we’re working hard to add to this.

Reporter: Isn’t that bribery?

Me: Bribery is illegal. Incentives are not.

Reporter: How much is this going to cost taxpayers?

Me: When you get a really expensive gift from your girlfriend, do you ask how much it
costs? Learn some manners son.

Reporter: I don’t have a girlfriend.

Me: So, you’re one of those homo……

Reporter: Excuse me?!!

Me: I was going to say homosapiens that don’t have a girlfriend.

Reporter: Oh. Sorry.

Me: No worries. I knew you’re not a poof anyway. Way too fat.

Reporter: What about healthcare, education, defence, the shortage of skilled labour,
workplace reforms and all these issues?

Me: As soon as people get their Liberals x Sony PS3 they’ll spend far less time
worrying and more time having fun. Turn that frown upside down my man.

Reporter: Good luck with your campaign Mr. PM.

Me: Hahahaha. We don’t need luck. They’re so dumb. We’re running against a dog now.
How hard can it be? It’s in the bag already.

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

Jackie Chan

Gotta' love Jackie Chan...

Monday, August 06, 2007

Insane in the membrane.

Skateboarder Jake Brown, whose 45-foot free-fall Thursday night brought a hush to the crowd at Staples Center, remains hospitalized after suffering bruises of the liver and lung, stress fractures in his vertebrae and a small fracture on the top of one hand.

Brown, 32, who was injured during the big air competition on the mega-ramp during a silver medalist performance, is expected to be released from the hospital today or Sunday and make a full recovery.

"Doctors said there was no paralysis or anything like that," said Bryce Kanights, team manager for Adidas, which is among Brown's corporate sponsors.

Kanights was critical of X Games medical personnel for not immobilizing Brown immediately and placing him in a stretcher.

A hospital spokesman refused to discuss Brown's condition.

Source: LA Times

Makes me cringe everytime I see it. He's one lucky cat though. Thank God he's fine.

WWE is for pussies...

Friday, August 03, 2007

WTF #5

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Ok, I understand that signing supermodels as the face of a label is so last millennium and that it's all about movie stars nowadays with the likes of John Travolta for Breitling, Nicole Kidman for Chanel and Jessica Alba for Revlon but how the hell does a politician fit into the scheme of things?

I applaud Louis Vuitton for signing the gorgeous, curvaceous, voluptuous and not to mention, delicious Scarlett Johansson as a spokesperson for their brand but Mikhail Gorbachev? Gorby?

You better believe it.

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Seeing that we're being fruity here, Adidas' 'Impossible is Nothing' ad campaign is one of my favourite but I still think they should have aired this one...

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Different strokes for different folks.

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It’s Friday and our office has a dress-down policy on Fridays. I love this policy cos’ I feel more comfortable in sneakers and jeans but some of the things I've seen paraded around offices with this policy is downright insane!

In my first job, there was no such policy even though the practice has been adopted by many top companies with rave reviews from studies conducted that it boosted the morale of the employees. There were several requests for it but the idea was thrown out the window before the ink dried.

Today, I can understand why.

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When I walked into the office, I was somewhat surprised by what one of my team members was wearing. She was supposed to be on an assignment at a client’s place but was in the office to organise her things before leaving for that assignment. I would consider the black jeans, sneakers & pullover that she was wearing inappropriate when there is a professional engagement with a valued client but I couldn’t bring myself to tell her. It was not that her attire was outrageous or anything, just untidy. The things that went through my mind were:

a) Maybe she thinks that it's appropriate. Am I going to tell her what she should and shouldn't wear?
b) Am I being too petty? Is this micro-management to the extreme?
c) The girl’s new here. Give her a break
d) Maybe I’m old and too conservative

Rightly or wrongly, I took the coward’s approach and asked HR to send a copy of the policy to all new staff. Luckily, we had 3 new employees in the last couple of months.

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Here’s the gist of it -“Casual wear should be “reasonable”, i.e. no shorts, no thongs, no sandals, no singlet etc during the summer and no fancy or party clothes”.

Looking at it, I feel that it’s all about the individual’s taste and I really think that the rule is open to interpretation. One man’s MC Hammer pants could be another’s work slacks don’t you think?

But then again, if they were to cover all bases and list the ‘do’s’ and ‘don’ts’, they might as well come with some tips on grooming and professionally taken pictures on glossy pages as examples. The memo will probably look more like a Vogue magazine by the time it's done.

Wonder when platform shoes will come back in style? I've always wanted to be a 6 footer.

Thursday, July 26, 2007

The right stuff.

Sorry, I couldn't resist the NKOTB title.

Read this in The Star today:
SHAH ALAM: A government plan to teach consumerism in primary and secondary schools will ensure a wiser new generation of consumers.

Deputy Prime Minister Datuk Seri Najib Tun Razak said the Domestic Trade and Consumer Affairs Ministry and Education Ministry were in talks to make this possible.

It will not be a new subject but will be inserted into the present curriculum with the aim of producing a generation of wise consumers.

“We want students to be exposed to consumerism from an early stage,” he told reporters after launching Malaysia Consumers Day at the Malawati Stadium here yesterday.

As to what they would be taught, he said it would include how to act as a consumer group and individual consumers, compare prices, recognise reasonable prices and quality products, as well as consumer rights.

“When consumers act as a group by networking with consumer groups and associations, we can have a stronger consumer movement in the country,” he said.

Earlier in his speech, Najib said that awareness on consumerism needed to be enhanced to allow consumers to play a more active and effective role as an important force that shaped the country’s socio-economy.

When consumers come together, they can become a greater force as a pressure group against ruthless traders who set cutthroat prices and profiteer,” he added.

Najib said consumers were the biggest group of people who could influence or be influenced by decisions made by the Government, more so those by traders.

“The Government is aware that there are some instances where consumer groups are not being managed well. But we recognise that consumers are the basis to any economic activity,” he said.

He urged traders to include aspects of consumerism as important elements in their companies’ business policies and strategies.

For this purpose, the Government will support self-regulation initiatives for the benefit of consumers. This will also directly benefit traders because what is good for consumers is also good for business.

“This will also realise our aim to reduce bureaucracy, which will reduce the cost of doing business,” he said.

Najib also told traders, especially retailers, to be environment-friendly by switching to paper bags instead of using plastic ones

Well, slap me on the butt and call me your ho'!

I did not know that I had rights as a consumer in Malaysia. I mean, I know I had rights but I'm sure most of us know that when you say that word in Malaysia, you should also signal with your index and middle fingers that it should be in inverted commas.

Intrigued, I googled it and came up with myGovernment, the Malaysia Government's official portal and searched for 'consumer rights'. It had this to say:

Malaysian consumers have rights that are protected through various laws and regulations. These rights can be exercised through the Consumer Association Malaysia which is a non-governmental consumers' organization, which defends the rights and interest s of consumers.

Consumers' rights concerning food, housing, health care, sanitation, public transport, education, public policy, human rights and the environment amongst others can be brought up to the association.

Compare this with:

Australian governments share the statutory responsibility for consumer protection. The Australian Government has the primary policy setting role, while the State and Territory governments make and enforce the majority of consumer legislation.

The Australian Government agencies that look after consumer protection are the Australian Competition and Consumer Commission (ACCC) and the Australian Securities and Investments Commission (ASIC). The consumer protection divisions of the Treasury also provide consumer policy advice to the Australian Government.

The ACCC operates within the framework of the Trade Practices Act 1974 and works with other national and international agencies to promote consumer protection, mainly at the national corporation level.

All of the ACCC’s regional offices undertake enforcement work, usually where a practice may have Australia-wide implications or a complaint relates to a national campaign.

ASIC is responsible for consumer protection in financial services and enforces consumer protection under the Australian Securities and Investments Commission Act 2001.

Enquiries and complaints about financial service providers should be referred directly to ASIC.

The Treasury's consumer affairs division gives the Australian Government consumer protection policy advice within the provisions of the Trade Practices Act.

The Treasury hosts and maintains the (the Ministerial Council on Consumer Affairs) web site.

I know that it is unfair to compare the consumer policies of different countries but I am just trying to highlight an important point here.

I'm all for the DPM raising awareness but what about enforcement? Why is the group that defends the rights of consumers non-governmental? Isn't that more red tape?

When he said that the consumers can "become a greater force as a pressure group against ruthless traders who set cutthroat prices and profiteer”, does that mean that the government expects the consumers to gang-up and take the law into their own hands? It sure sounds like it because from my understanding through reading the mission statements of these associations (FOMCA & CASSA), they do not have the power to uphold or enforce the law. They're like security guards, not the police.

Awareness is one thing but it all boils down to enforcement doesn't it? No warning that the government will take swift action on those practices that violate the safety and protection of consumers' rights? I reckon the prosecution of offenders would serve as a more effective tool in raising the awareness of consumers don't you?

Oh, and the link for the Consumer Association Malaysia in myGovernment doesn't work. SHOCK! HORROR!

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

WTF #4

I was browsing cyberspace for accommodation in Japan and came across the Dotonbori Hotel.

I'm not very fussy about Japanese Hotels because they're usually quite clean. The only things that matter to me is the size of the room and if there's a tv included. I've seen some rooms so small that it's called a closet in some countries.

So, they have a twin room with a pillar...

Here's the description:

Due to the building structure of the hotel,there is a pillar between the beds! We offer you this reasonable price to make up for the pillar. Perfect for businessmen who have to travel with your boss, or for couples who are quarrelling. Of course, it’s also for those who are attracted to the low price.

They also have a 'semi double room'...

Here's the marketing pitch...

Ideal for the active couple. Reasonal price.Both of you will feel comfortable in this room.

I like a hotel with a sense of humour. Now, let's see if they think it's funny when I check out with their tv set.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

I heart sneakers.

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It was an eventful weekend!

I joined forces with another Sneaker Freaker forum member to set up one of the 10 tables available at Sydney’s inaugural sneaker swap meet at the Stussy store.

I’ve met 2 old acquantainces from high school on the forum. One of them from close to 2 decades back when I was in Sri Cempaka KL and another from my high school days in Sydney 13 years ago.

When I first joined the forum about 4 years ago, all we had was an online username. We were just a bunch of guys hanging out on the forum chatting away about sneakers and shit until bits and pieces of information inevitably got posted which revealed our identity and along the way, the mutual friends that we've had.

Talk about a small world...even in cyber space.

It was also great to meet a lot of the newer members and also to put faces to usernames for some of the regulars of the forum.

Throughout the day, the appreciation for sneakers instantly broke the ice and there was much to talk about, even to strangers.

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The turn-out was awesome considering it was a chilly Sunday. Most came around to look at the amazing collection of sneakers we had on display but a few came by just to chill and chat.

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We had a couple of custom tee shirt stands which had some original and amazing designs and even a setup which sold vinyl toys and shoe laces to complement the sneakers.

I sold a pair of my favourite Jordans. The Air Jordan 2 "Carmelo Anthony" colourway.

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Ritchie always knows how to strike a pose and make a statement. He’s a talented designer whose store has made a few t-shirts in collaboration with some of the most recognisable streetwear brands on the planet. The prototype jeans that he was working on last year were really something. Too bad it didn't make it to production. Here he is showing off his new tatts that he got from his recent trip to Bali. He designed it himself too.

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There were loads of rare and hot sneakers pounding the floor. We were checking out people’s feet most of the time. Even the ladies got into the action.

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Free booze all day plus the Red Bull girls came through a few times with more free refreshments. What more can one ask for?

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We capped off the night with a nice Italian dinner with some of the crew from the day.

All in all a fantastic day to remember.

[pictures courtesy of Iori@Sneaker Freaker]

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Can you pass the salt?

KUALA LUMPUR: Malaysia is willing to review policies or regulations deemed to be hindering the distribution of equity in the most sustainable, competitive and meaningful way.

Prime Minister Datuk Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi, however, said Malaysian maintained its position that the New Economic Policy (NEP) was not a cost to doing business.

“Perhaps the most difficult question we must address is to improve equity without sacrificing competitiveness. Many have come to regard Malaysia’s affirmative action policies, widely described as the NEP, as a cost to doing business.

“But many fail to appreciate the spirit behind the policy, and this is crucial in understanding Malaysia,” he said yesterday.

Abdullah said the objective to dissociate race from occupation or social standing was crucial in ensuring long-term unity for the country – given its legacy and racial structure.

“Racial-based riots raged in neighbouring countries while Malaysia was spared the experience. The expansion of an educated and multi-ethnic middle class, thanks to affirmative action policies, has mitigated the risk of mass unrest.

“But great disparities in income and social mobility still exist between ethnic groups. Whereas this may just be another issue in other countries, ethnic-based disparity strikes at the heart of national unity for Malaysia,” said Abdullah in his keynote address at a high-level dialogue with foreign investors and international business leaders.

The Prime Minister spoke at the two-day “Business Roundtable with the Government of Malaysia.” This dialogue allowed the business leaders to engage policy makers on the on-going reform process and to discuss key economic issues.

“In this 50th year of our independence, we see an improving economy and the fruits of our structural changes. The renewed interest in Malaysia is the product of this 50-year legacy as well as recent national efforts at refining our approaches,” he said.

Source: The Star

With statements like that, I hope they had great food on the buffet table cos' it looks like nothing was achieved.

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Flaminglambo has needs!!!

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The blurb...

At present day a lot of people work in environments that are subject to intense magnetic fields. Aerospace industry, research labs, telecommunications and medical imaging are just a few examples of fields that are found under the considerable magnetic influence. Scientists, technicians, engineers and other specialists all need a reliable timepiece that would be well protected from magnetic influences and provide accurate timekeeping. Rolex developed its Oyster Perpetual Milgauss with these people in mind.

The Oyster Perpetual Milgauss bears a French name that implies that the timepiece with an inner 'Faraday cage' case will resist a magnetic flux density of one thousand gauss. The year 2007 marked a new step in evolution of the model. The first model of the Rolex Oyster Perpetual Milgauss appeared back in the 1950s, having brought technological progress to focus. The movement of the watch reliably protected by the magnetic shied has been developed to provide exceptional performance even when found under the influence of strong magnetic fields.

In 2007 the Rolex vintage Milgauss celebrated its 50th anniversary. As one could have expected, prices for the extremely rare vintage models available through auction sales are amazingly high. Taking these facts into account, no wonder Rolex has decided to update its legendary Oyster model offering an advantage of anti-magnetic protection. Rolex fans will surely be pleased by the updated model's perfect execution and reasonable price- that is £3,210.

The distinctively orange sweep-seconds hand is designed to remind a lightning-bolt. The black dial features white and orange applied hour markers. The Arabic minute numerals are also in orange. The dial is covered by a green-tinted sapphire crystal that adds a slight trace of stylishness to the dial. The watch goes on a rigorous stainless steel Oyster bracelet.

Ooooh yeaaa! I’ve fallen in love with the Milgauss. It’s not as flashy as the Explorers but it does have that vintage look with the seconds hand providing a flamboyant flair. It’s humble enough to blend in with a tee shirt and jeans and stylish enough to compliment a suit. More importantly, the watch resists a magnetic flux density of one thousand gauss!!!

Ok, ok. I haven't the slightest idea what that last sentence means but it has scientific terms in it so it has to be cool.

Anyway, compared with the Explorers, the Milgauss doesn’t scream, “Look at me, I’m a wannabe diver or an underwater cave explorer” because let’s face it, how many people you know buy Explorers to go deep sea diving?

Now, the question is, where am I going to get the dough for it? It’s the middle of winter, which means man-whoring myself on a street corner is going to be tough considering the multiple layers of clothes doesn’t exactly show off the assets like He-Man or Tarzan. Furthermore, we all know what happens to the ‘package’ when it’s cold.

Anyone need a pimp?

Saturday, July 07, 2007


So, they say that today’s supposed to be a lucky day. I don’t know about that but it’s certainly extra busy for restaurants, clubs and pubs cos’ we couldn’t get a reservation for dinner at our local restaurant and that’s never happened before. We went to another place and it was packed the whole night.

If this is bad, I wonder how it’s like next year when it’s 080808? All around Asia, people will probably have to queue to get into casinos because 1) the number ‘8’, whose Chinese name rhymes with the words for prosperity and wealth, is considered particularly auspicious and 2) Asians love to gamble.

The powerful significance of the number even influenced the Beijing Olympics to open next year at 8 p.m. on Aug. 8, 2008. I’m sure they spared no expense in winning that particular Olympic bid just so they could have a pretty sequence of the number 8 for the opening ceremony.

Thursday, July 05, 2007

Flaminglambo x The Simpsons.

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Create your own Simpson's character at

Tuesday, July 03, 2007


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We went to our very first ultrasound last week and the experience was truly magical. Seeing our baby move and twitch is just an amazing feeling. I can't really describe it but let me just say that this would be the closest I've been to actually shedding tears of joy. I was smiling from ear to ear while my wife got all teary and giggly. I could instantly see the bond between mother and child now that she's seen a part of us growing inside her. Every move it made, my heart just melted with it. It was truly one of the most awesome moments of my life and I will always cherish it.

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There was this cute little guy crawling around the waiting room who was very responsive to us. We had a blast playing with him. I can't wait till I have my own but I'm still dreading being in the delivery room. I hear of people actually filming the whole birth but I've told my wife that I don't want to be in clear view of where the action is because I get real queasy with the sight of blood, the smell of iron from blood and stuff like that.

I know, I'm a wuss.

I've also told her if she insists, she might run the risk of 1) me fainting and/or vomiting in the delivery room and stealing the thunder from our first born or 2) me turning gay because I'll never look at a woman's vagina the same again.

My wife's boss actually plans to play the tape of his daughter's birth on her 18th birthday party to humiliate her. Now, that idea is gold but when the joke died down, I thought to myself, 'Errr, wouldn't the boys go, 'Nice fanny Mrs. xxxx'?'

I cracked up laughing again. I've got to get myself invited for that party. The first prize of Australia's Funniest Home Video is so mine if I can get that footage.

Righto. Kukuciao or no kukuciao. That is the question. Stay tuned!

Friday, June 22, 2007

Exams - A love/hate relationship.

Fear, anxiety, doubt and anger followed by relief, elation, joy and retail therapy.

Those are the emotions that I go through when it comes to exams. In fact, those are the emotions I went through for the past couple of weeks and I have the battle scars to prove it. I’ve put on a few kilos, stubbles on my chin, personal hygiene and fashion sense was thrown out the window, bags around my eyes, my room’s a mess (like it’s any different without exams) and I’m overdue for a facial. In short, I’m a wreck and my brain still feels like jelly from all that cramming, uploading and downoading.

Immediately after the exam, I was so tired but so awake at the same time. My body was completely screwed up and I was running on pure adrenaline. I decided to calm myself down and headed to the courts to shoot some hoops. It helped put some normalcy back into the body.

I felt the burden of the past couple of weeks being lifted from me which was great but the taste of pure and innocent happiness was even better. I reckon this brand of happiness is the most important for charging up the spirit and maintaining the well-being of the soul. It is also the hardest to find, especially in lives that have been battered down to a routine. I used to be able to find it in religion but that's probably a blog entry for another day.

Exams can spice up a life of routine and consistency by jamming itself right up your ass. Put it this way, the challenges on Fear Factor are for wusses compared to the thoughts and perceived repurcussions that go through my mind around exam time. I’d gladly chomp down a bowl of worms if you give me a hi-D on my paper anytime because the fear of failure is scarier that anything you can put before me.

I’ve heard the advice of not cramming and pacing the workload but I get too complacent when an exam is more than a month away and a lot of stuff just don’t seem to stick when there is no urgency. Plus, it’s tough to work all day, come home and hit the books. The brain just screams at you saying vulgar things along the lines of, ‘Duuuuuudde! You’re shittin’ me right?! I slog all day for you and this is how you repay me? Now, shut your trap and let me watch House bitch!’

I’m really gonna’ start my preparation a month before d-day when I do my next subject and see how I go……although that’s what I say after every test since high school.

Yoda said, "Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering."

I think Yoda was taking his Jedi exams.

Saturday, June 09, 2007

Sheila Majid

I used to have a huge crush on her when I was a teenager. After listening to a few of her songs recently, it brought back a lot of memories from my school days in St. Johns.

A truly talented singer.

Thursday, June 07, 2007

Product placement.

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Ok, this beast have been parked outside one of the Macquarie Bank buildings for the past few days. Why were they there?

In case you haven't heard, news got out that Alan Moss, the boss of Mac Bank (a.k.a The Millionaires Factory) got paid AU$33.5 million for the year. A cool AU$12 million pay rise! That's $12,000, finger just cramped from punching that many zeros. Just makes you think how much the bank is paying him while he takes a dump on office time.

Anyway, people are crying foul but I say good for him!

Oh, back to the Lambo. The car was parked there as part of the luxury car dealer's product placement strategy. For a car like that, I reckon the interior was a downer. Where's the bling?

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Paris Hilton Inc.

What can you say? The girl's got the life. I remember asking my wife if she was an actress when she first registered on my radar.

'Socialite', was her response.

I was like, 'Ohhhhh...err, what's does a socialite do?'.

That word has Paris Hilton's picture next to it in the dictionary. Thanks to her, I now know what the word actually means...more or less. Then, I looked up the word 'slut' and lo and behold, there was Paris' picture again!

What exactly did the girl get famous for? Turning up at high-profile parties? Having a rich and famous grandad? Initially, she was just famous for being a spoilt brat but look who's laughing all the way to the bank now? She was famous for doing nothing and then probably thought, 'Oh well, might as well make money off these suckers', and launched a movie and music 'career', had a hand in internet porn and recently, sent to the slammers to seal a gangsta' reputation

Coincidences? I think not!. She's probably building her street credibility before releasing a rap album or maybe a mocktail...or two.

The girl's getting paid 6 figures to attend launches and premiers. Basically getting paid to just show up at an event! If I asked you what Brad Pitt, Michael Jordan or Madonna is famous for, you'd tell me straight away. But what is Paris famous for?

That's the GENIUS of Paris.

Now, where can I get these tees?

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Friday, May 25, 2007

Fashion Police

I frequent every few days or so. It's basically a forum on the local streetwear scene in Malaysia. I might be old but I'm still young at heart ya' know?

Anyway, a member called vioxx21 who is in the UK posted this:

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"I was on my way out from the underground...
Then i was pushed to the wall by the police...
My body and backpack were checked...
Fuxx them...."
"B'coz of the 'fuck' word on the tee, i was fined £80 by police....So be careful next time u wear a tee with the word..."

I wouldn't have found it surprising if it happened in a country like Malaysia but in the UK?

What next? Fines for obese women wearing a mid-rift top and a mini skirt ala Britney Spears (pre-kids) for causing mental and visual distress?

Actually, that ain't half bad but gimme a break.

This is exactly what will happen if the police gets too much power.

Maybe the cops over there are not just getting jittery over backpacks being carried by people of middle-eastern appearance in their subways but apparently their heads are so screwed up at the moment, provocative tee shirts are also a no-no too. If they're concerned about the kids, tell me, how often do we see Wayne Rooney cuss when we watch him play?

I can almost hear Tony Blair saying that the terrorists will not change their way of life like it was yesterday. The fact of the matter is, it has. People in the UK and the US don't look at people of middle-eastern appearances or people that come from a Muslim country the same anymore. The uneducated even think Islam is evil.

Just yesterday, that feral of a woman, Pauline Hanson announced that she's forming a new political party called United Australia Party in the hope to win a Senate spot at the next election. One of the policies that she is pushing - limit the immigration of Muslims into Australia.

It'll be interesting to see how she goes and it'll be interesting to see how the police handle their new found power when the APEC meeting rolls into town in a few months. I work smack-bang in the middle of the proposed restricted zone, close to where the meeting will be held and the cops will have the power to search ANYONE and refuse entry into the zone.

Hope they refuse my entry on a work day.

Monday, May 21, 2007


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So, we were on our jolly way to work this morning when we were met with a small traffic jam heading towards the main junction joining the highway. Instinctively, the missus gave me 'the finger' - no, not that one - but one which signaled me to turn left at the next street to avoid the traffic using a shortcut that we've recently found.

Shortly after the left turn, I had to chuck a right which would put me parallel to the traffic stricken street that I was on moments ago.

Ahhhh...a free run.

About 3 seconds into it, a pig dressed as a cop hopped out of his doughnut-mobile, waddled into the middle of the road and gave me 'the finger' - no, not that one - but the one that signaled me to pull over.

I did.

The talking pig informed me that I made an illegal right turn. I told him that I didn't know because it made no sense that I couldn't turn right into a street in the middle of a housing area. He said that there was a sign and asked me for my license to which I complied.

Got done for $179. PHARK!!!

Damn pig and his sign. Why even bother giving these fools in the traffic division guns when they're not doing real police work? If the government really want to curb speeding or other petty traffic violations, they should consider arming the traffic division with a tight leather mini-skirt and a 'Stop' sign. You can be darn sure that us motorist will slow down to take a closer look.

Stupid pig deserves 'the finger' - yes, that one!

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

There's a bun in the oven.

Just a quickie (pun fully intended)...

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Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Weekend #17, 2007.

Some snaps of the weekend. A little late but nonetheless...

Saturday morning:

Running and gunning with the boyz at 9 a.m. I felt really lethargic. I used to ball at night and I feel that my energy level's way better at night. Played ok though. At least I didn't get a black eye this time. Copped an elbow right in the left eye socket a few weeks back. By Tuesday, it was a real shiner. It looked like I got into a bar fight or something. I told my wife that if anybody asked, I was gonna' tell them I'm a victim of domestic abuse.

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Saturday arvo:

Walked passed a pet shop and saw some Pugs! We used to own one until somebody dog-napped Happy. They're a cute breed. Clumsy and silly but that's part of their charm. The black one looked really purrrrty.

How much is that doggy in the window?

AU$2,000 (RM$5,700)!!!

Nuts, considering Happy only cost us like RM$800 (AU$280). Their lame ass reason - it's a pure breed.

What are they? Nazis?

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Went to my first baptism. My cousin was getting baptised and I am honoured that she invited us.

The first thing that struck my wife and I were the colour of the gowns they(the people that were to be baptised) were wearing. We thought that black doesn't quite reflect the mood of joy or celebration and my wife was telling me that the ones that she's been to, they were all wearing white. Then, I saw this...

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Ok, maybe black is the most appropriate colour seeing that Asians are more conservative. Don't want it looking like a wet tee shirt contest now do we?
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