Thursday, February 07, 2008

The Hero and the Princess.

I thought it would be fitting that my first entry for 2008 be of something significant, something extraordinary and being blessed with a baby girl certainly qualifies. To try and put into words the emotional roller coaster that I had been in during the hours leading up to her birth is something I know I cannot do justice to.

The feeling of being a father for the first time is one of those things in life which nobody can prepare you for no matter how often you see it or hear about it. I strongly feel that it’s something you have to experience first hand. Being in that room with my wife and my soon-to-be delivered daughter is something very intimate and personal. It matured me quite a bit. Those waiting moments made me put things into perspective and to reassess my priorities and my life in general. I feel sorry for those dads that missed out on the birth of their child because it’s such an enriching and empowering experience.

I also felt the terrifying grip of fear followed by immense joy and love that reduced me to fairy floss.

The fear is for the well-being of my wife who had to endure the agony of contractions while battling fatigue from not having to sleep for close to 2 days. Feeling so helpless yet trying to keep a brave face and be strong and supportive for her at the same time is one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life.

The joy comes when the little angel looked up at us right after her birth - with the umbilical cord still attached - as she gives us that curious yet loving stare with those beautiful shiny eyes as if she knows that we love her with all our heart and understands that we are now a family. It was a priceless moment. I’ll never forget that as long as I live.

The love, oh man, the love I’m feeling is a kind of love that is so raw, so powerful and overwhelming that you’d die to protect and kill to defend. When I was an armchair critic about fatherhood, I used to shake my head at those dads that pamper their children rotten by buying them whatever they want and shielding them from anything that is difficult. I now know what a grip this kind of love can do to a dad and I hope that I can be strong enough to do what is right rather than what feels good.

After witnessing what my wife has gone through, I have gained tremendous respect for her, my Hero, the Rambo of our new family. And holding my Princess in my arms for the first time knowing that she is an extension of me, us, gave me goose bumps. Instead of being the head of the family, I feel that I am but a humble and willing servant, a guardian of this family and I will serve and protect until every ounce of my being is exhausted.

That I promise.

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