Friday, June 22, 2007

Exams - A love/hate relationship.

Fear, anxiety, doubt and anger followed by relief, elation, joy and retail therapy.

Those are the emotions that I go through when it comes to exams. In fact, those are the emotions I went through for the past couple of weeks and I have the battle scars to prove it. I’ve put on a few kilos, stubbles on my chin, personal hygiene and fashion sense was thrown out the window, bags around my eyes, my room’s a mess (like it’s any different without exams) and I’m overdue for a facial. In short, I’m a wreck and my brain still feels like jelly from all that cramming, uploading and downoading.

Immediately after the exam, I was so tired but so awake at the same time. My body was completely screwed up and I was running on pure adrenaline. I decided to calm myself down and headed to the courts to shoot some hoops. It helped put some normalcy back into the body.

I felt the burden of the past couple of weeks being lifted from me which was great but the taste of pure and innocent happiness was even better. I reckon this brand of happiness is the most important for charging up the spirit and maintaining the well-being of the soul. It is also the hardest to find, especially in lives that have been battered down to a routine. I used to be able to find it in religion but that's probably a blog entry for another day.

Exams can spice up a life of routine and consistency by jamming itself right up your ass. Put it this way, the challenges on Fear Factor are for wusses compared to the thoughts and perceived repurcussions that go through my mind around exam time. I’d gladly chomp down a bowl of worms if you give me a hi-D on my paper anytime because the fear of failure is scarier that anything you can put before me.

I’ve heard the advice of not cramming and pacing the workload but I get too complacent when an exam is more than a month away and a lot of stuff just don’t seem to stick when there is no urgency. Plus, it’s tough to work all day, come home and hit the books. The brain just screams at you saying vulgar things along the lines of, ‘Duuuuuudde! You’re shittin’ me right?! I slog all day for you and this is how you repay me? Now, shut your trap and let me watch House bitch!’

I’m really gonna’ start my preparation a month before d-day when I do my next subject and see how I go……although that’s what I say after every test since high school.

Yoda said, "Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering."

I think Yoda was taking his Jedi exams.


the witch's broo said...


hey, man... take care of yourself. and all the best. dunno what else to tell you... remembering those sweaty nights, swotting...

take care.

zewt said...

i guess this is the exam of your masters or something... all the best. this is the time you put all your hard work to... well... to work!

Ozi said...

I think you may be my old friend from high school.. Cempaka.

male.. sydney..

i read your entry on your cousins baptism.. saw a chinese man.. must be your uncle..

so you are chinese...

i'm thinking.. Marc? is it you?

anyway if i'm wrong, thanks for visiting my blog..

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