MY PRECIOUSSSSSSSS!!!

We went to our very first ultrasound last week and the experience was truly magical. Seeing our baby move and twitch is just an amazing feeling. I can't really describe it but let me just say that this would be the closest I've been to actually shedding tears of joy. I was smiling from ear to ear while my wife got all teary and giggly. I could instantly see the bond between mother and child now that she's seen a part of us growing inside her. Every move it made, my heart just melted with it. It was truly one of the most awesome moments of my life and I will always cherish it.



There was this cute little guy crawling around the waiting room who was very responsive to us. We had a blast playing with him. I can't wait till I have my own but I'm still dreading being in the delivery room. I hear of people actually filming the whole birth but I've told my wife that I don't want to be in clear view of where the action is because I get real queasy with the sight of blood, the smell of iron from blood and stuff like that.

I know, I'm a wuss.

I've also told her if she insists, she might run the risk of 1) me fainting and/or vomiting in the delivery room and stealing the thunder from our first born or 2) me turning gay because I'll never look at a woman's vagina the same again.

My wife's boss actually plans to play the tape of his daughter's birth on her 18th birthday party to humiliate her. Now, that idea is gold but when the joke died down, I thought to myself, 'Errr, wouldn't the boys go, 'Nice fanny Mrs. xxxx'?'

I cracked up laughing again. I've got to get myself invited for that party. The first prize of Australia's Funniest Home Video is so mine if I can get that footage.

Righto. Kukuciao or no kukuciao. That is the question. Stay tuned!

Exams - A love/hate relationship.

Fear, anxiety, doubt and anger followed by relief, elation, joy and retail therapy.

Those are the emotions that I go through when it comes to exams. In fact, those are the emotions I went through for the past couple of weeks and I have the battle scars to prove it. I’ve put on a few kilos, stubbles on my chin, personal hygiene and fashion sense was thrown out the window, bags around my eyes, my room’s a mess (like it’s any different without exams) and I’m overdue for a facial. In short, I’m a wreck and my brain still feels like jelly from all that cramming, uploading and downoading.

Immediately after the exam, I was so tired but so awake at the same time. My body was completely screwed up and I was running on pure adrenaline. I decided to calm myself down and headed to the courts to shoot some hoops. It helped put some normalcy back into the body.

I felt the burden of the past couple of weeks being lifted from me which was great but the taste of pure and innocent happiness was even better. I reckon this brand of happiness is the most important for charging up the spirit and maintaining the well-being of the soul. It is also the hardest to find, especially in lives that have been battered down to a routine. I used to be able to find it in religion but that's probably a blog entry for another day.

Exams can spice up a life of routine and consistency by jamming itself right up your ass. Put it this way, the challenges on Fear Factor are for wusses compared to the thoughts and perceived repurcussions that go through my mind around exam time. I’d gladly chomp down a bowl of worms if you give me a hi-D on my paper anytime because the fear of failure is scarier that anything you can put before me.

I’ve heard the advice of not cramming and pacing the workload but I get too complacent when an exam is more than a month away and a lot of stuff just don’t seem to stick when there is no urgency. Plus, it’s tough to work all day, come home and hit the books. The brain just screams at you saying vulgar things along the lines of, ‘Duuuuuudde! You’re shittin’ me right?! I slog all day for you and this is how you repay me? Now, shut your trap and let me watch House bitch!’

I’m really gonna’ start my preparation a month before d-day when I do my next subject and see how I go……although that’s what I say after every test since high school.

Yoda said, "Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering."

I think Yoda was taking his Jedi exams.

Sheila Majid

I used to have a huge crush on her when I was a teenager. After listening to a few of her songs recently, it brought back a lot of memories from my school days in St. Johns.

A truly talented singer.

Product placement.

Ok, this beast have been parked outside one of the Macquarie Bank buildings for the past few days. Why were they there?

In case you haven't heard, news got out that Alan Moss, the boss of Mac Bank (a.k.a The Millionaires Factory) got paid AU$33.5 million for the year. A cool AU$12 million pay rise! That's $12,000,0....my finger just cramped from punching that many zeros. Just makes you think how much the bank is paying him while he takes a dump on office time.

Anyway, people are crying foul but I say good for him!

Oh, back to the Lambo. The car was parked there as part of the luxury car dealer's product placement strategy. For a car like that, I reckon the interior was a downer. Where's the bling?



Paris Hilton Inc.

What can you say? The girl's got the life. I remember asking my wife if she was an actress when she first registered on my radar.

'Socialite', was her response.

I was like, 'Ohhhhh...err, what's does a socialite do?'.

That word has Paris Hilton's picture next to it in the dictionary. Thanks to her, I now know what the word actually means...more or less. Then, I looked up the word 'slut' and lo and behold, there was Paris' picture again!

What exactly did the girl get famous for? Turning up at high-profile parties? Having a rich and famous grandad? Initially, she was just famous for being a spoilt brat but look who's laughing all the way to the bank now? She was famous for doing nothing and then probably thought, 'Oh well, might as well make money off these suckers', and launched a movie and music 'career', had a hand in internet porn and recently, sent to the slammers to seal a gangsta' reputation

Coincidences? I think not!. She's probably building her street credibility before releasing a rap album or maybe a mocktail...or two.

The girl's getting paid 6 figures to attend launches and premiers. Basically getting paid to just show up at an event! If I asked you what Brad Pitt, Michael Jordan or Madonna is famous for, you'd tell me straight away. But what is Paris famous for?

That's the GENIUS of Paris.

Now, where can I get these tees?

Fashion Police

I frequent www.streething.com/forum/index.php every few days or so. It's basically a forum on the local streetwear scene in Malaysia. I might be old but I'm still young at heart ya' know?

Anyway, a member called vioxx21 who is in the UK posted this:

"I was on my way out from the underground...
Then i was pushed to the wall by the police...
My body and backpack were checked...
Fuxx them...."

"B'coz of the 'fuck' word on the tee, i was fined £80 by police....So be careful next time u wear a tee with the word..."

I wouldn't have found it surprising if it happened in a country like Malaysia but in the UK?

What next? Fines for obese women wearing a mid-rift top and a mini skirt ala Britney Spears (pre-kids) for causing mental and visual distress?

Actually, that ain't half bad but gimme a break.

This is exactly what will happen if the police gets too much power.

Maybe the cops over there are not just getting jittery over backpacks being carried by people of middle-eastern appearance in their subways but apparently their heads are so screwed up at the moment, provocative tee shirts are also a no-no too. If they're concerned about the kids, tell me, how often do we see Wayne Rooney cuss when we watch him play?

I can almost hear Tony Blair saying that the terrorists will not change their way of life like it was yesterday. The fact of the matter is, it has. People in the UK and the US don't look at people of middle-eastern appearances or people that come from a Muslim country the same anymore. The uneducated even think Islam is evil.

Just yesterday, that feral of a woman, Pauline Hanson announced that she's forming a new political party called United Australia Party in the hope to win a Senate spot at the next election. One of the policies that she is pushing - limit the immigration of Muslims into Australia.

It'll be interesting to see how she goes and it'll be interesting to see how the police handle their new found power when the APEC meeting rolls into town in a few months. I work smack-bang in the middle of the proposed restricted zone, close to where the meeting will be held and the cops will have the power to search ANYONE and refuse entry into the zone.

Hope they refuse my entry on a work day.

BUSTED!

So, we were on our jolly way to work this morning when we were met with a small traffic jam heading towards the main junction joining the highway. Instinctively, the missus gave me 'the finger' - no, not that one - but one which signaled me to turn left at the next street to avoid the traffic using a shortcut that we've recently found.

Shortly after the left turn, I had to chuck a right which would put me parallel to the traffic stricken street that I was on moments ago.

Ahhhh...a free run.

About 3 seconds into it, a pig dressed as a cop hopped out of his doughnut-mobile, waddled into the middle of the road and gave me 'the finger' - no, not that one - but the one that signaled me to pull over.

I did.

The talking pig informed me that I made an illegal right turn. I told him that I didn't know because it made no sense that I couldn't turn right into a street in the middle of a housing area. He said that there was a sign and asked me for my license to which I complied.

Got done for $179. PHARK!!!

Damn pig and his sign. Why even bother giving these fools in the traffic division guns when they're not doing real police work? If the government really want to curb speeding or other petty traffic violations, they should consider arming the traffic division with a tight leather mini-skirt and a 'Stop' sign. You can be darn sure that us motorist will slow down to take a closer look.

Stupid pig deserves 'the finger' - yes, that one!

There's a bun in the oven.

Just a quickie (pun fully intended)...

Weekend #17, 2007.

Some snaps of the weekend. A little late but nonetheless...

Saturday morning:

Running and gunning with the boyz at 9 a.m. I felt really lethargic. I used to ball at night and I feel that my energy level's way better at night. Played ok though. At least I didn't get a black eye this time. Copped an elbow right in the left eye socket a few weeks back. By Tuesday, it was a real shiner. It looked like I got into a bar fight or something. I told my wife that if anybody asked, I was gonna' tell them I'm a victim of domestic abuse.




Saturday arvo:

Walked passed a pet shop and saw some Pugs! We used to own one until somebody dog-napped Happy. They're a cute breed. Clumsy and silly but that's part of their charm. The black one looked really purrrrty.

How much is that doggy in the window?

AU$2,000 (RM$5,700)!!!

Nuts, considering Happy only cost us like RM$800 (AU$280). Their lame ass reason - it's a pure breed.

What are they? Nazis?



Sunday:

Went to my first baptism. My cousin was getting baptised and I am honoured that she invited us.

The first thing that struck my wife and I were the colour of the gowns they(the people that were to be baptised) were wearing. We thought that black doesn't quite reflect the mood of joy or celebration and my wife was telling me that the ones that she's been to, they were all wearing white. Then, I saw this...



Ok, maybe black is the most appropriate colour seeing that Asians are more conservative. Don't want it looking like a wet tee shirt contest now do we?