Monday, July 24, 2006

School's in!

Dangit! First lecture tonight and I'm already dreading it.

I remember the whole study and work routine which I had to endure years ago. I don't know how I did it the last time but it seems like it's getting harder to find the motivation to get back into the groove.

Lecture 1 is usually a reconnaissance mission. I would normally skip this but I think being out of the game for so long, it's important to get a feel for the class or at least to establish a position in the lecture theatre. The players to take into account are:

1) The lecturer
2) The nerds
3) The hotties

The lecturer should be in top form tonight seeing that we're a new bunch and should show a more human side as we all get a feel for each other. Who knows? Maybe at the end of the semester, some of us might actually need to 'feel' him/her to get a few marks on our papers. I have had my fair share of zombie lecturers in the past where they would write on the white board or talk into the projector screen as soon as they come into class while we scribble frantically into our notebooks (looking back at some of my notes, I think it can pass as Arabic). Some smartasses actually bring tape recorders in at the beginning of class and come back at the end to collect them. With lectures like this, I find that there is no time to process a thought let alone ask questions so, I need to cut out the fat and scout for the work horses/nerds.

They are usually the ones sitting at the front row with their super duper fantastico calculators, multi-coloured highlighters lined neatly on the bench, text books that are already tagged for the first 3 lectures and crowds the lecturer like a groupie at a concert after every lecture. These are the ones that you can rely on for the most concise notes. Plus, they're generally pretty cool and easy to get along with. Just ask a lot of questions.

Then there are the hotties. The hotties serve 2 functions for a man like me. With a license (more like a probationary pass) to perv only, they are a source of motivation to attend the otherwise boring sessions by zombie lecturers or to keep me awake during the lectures. It's good training for the eyes too. A game where I try not to get into any weird eye contacts with the target.

Then comes the positioning of my royal ass. You see, it's important not to be in the front row. Not because the nerds are there but it's rude and difficult to make a getaway if I need to split mid-lecture if it gets too boring. Being way down the back means I would be squinting my eyes half the time which could affect my relationship with the hotties seeing that it throws the whole cool look that I will be trying to establish. So, I shall see y'all within diving distance from the exit.

It's game time...

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