Thursday, July 20, 2006

Officially yours.

I was talking to a mate of mine recently about his progress on this girl that he fancies. He reckons that they might be an item but when it comes to relationships and paktology (slang) you either are or you aren’t. It’s like asking someone if they’re a virgin. There’s no maybe but apparently a lot of girls I know claim that they would be if it wasn’t for the darn bicycle seat or gymnastic lessons when they were young. Hmmm…

Anyway, when is a girl officially your girlfriend? When you hold her hand and she doesn’t flinch? When you kiss her and she doesn’t give you a high-five right across the cheeks and crack your balls with her knees? Maybe it’s when you put your arm around her at the movies and she doesn’t look across at you and go, ‘DA FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!’ with kuaci flying out of her mouth and right in your face.

With me, I’ve always liked confirmations or a definitive answer. That way you don’t have to second guess things all the time. When I was a teenager many moons ago when dinosaurs roamed the earth, I remember having crushes on a few girls (not at the same time la!) and dropping hints here and there but nothing really serious eventuated because either my hints weren’t obvious enough or the girls were about as smart as inventing a helicopter with ejector seats. Of course, they could be avoiding the obvious but nobody asked for your opinion smart ass! Now where was I? So, thinking back to my love life, after going out with my girl for a while and the time was right to make the move, I finally mustered up the courage to say, ‘Will you be my girl?’. I was expecting a response along the lines of, ‘You had me at hello’, like Renee Zellweger’s character in Jerry McGuire. That would be the ideal scenario but of course, I ain’t Tom Cruise. So being just your regular Brad Pitt look-alike, what happened next will be etched in my mind forever. She laughed like a crazy hyena and said, ‘What are you? A dweeb?!’. Anyway, this dweeb could proudly say he’s got a girlfriend. A done deal. That's why I wonder, how else does one do it? What if a night of passion is just a one night stand and nothing serious? What if a kiss is just a kiss and nothing more? How else can you get confirmation if you don’t ask or talk about it? If one asks? Can the question be done romantically?

Speaking to a number of friends, a lot of them can’t recall the exact moment when they could officially be deemed a couple. A few said that it just happened because after going out on a few dates, it was a natural progression. Maybe that’s the female version. The guy’s version would probably go like this - got to third base and was still safe. Called back the next day. Batter up! Okay, okay. That might be a little crude but I think if a guy does not make a move within a certain period of time, the risk of running into ‘the friendship zone’ is very real, a real bummer that is. I’ve seen this happen to one of my dearest buddies and it wasn’t pretty. The girl is now married and he is left thinking of what might have been. He’s still the perfect gentleman after what he has been through. Did I mention that he’s still single? So, if anyone is interested in a hookup, holla’. Sex is optional. You initiate. Perfect isn’t it? Females only please. Males will have to wait a little longer. He’s not desperate enough yet. I’d say give it another year.

I digressed. Where was I? I know there’s a point to be made here somewhere. Ahhhh, fuck it. Lost is starting soon so this entry has no ending or point to it. Kind of like Lost, which is really starting to get on my nerves.


Jason said...

brad pitt lookalike?please can u choose a more oriental version, maybe Andy Lau, Aaron Kwok?Edison might be a lil too young for u to look like him...maybe he could play me if i had a movie done abt me!

cuckoo said...

if she agree to be ur girl after ur confession u'll feel like u r the luckiest guy in the world.. but when its gone u will feel like god doesnt like u.. im the poorest guy in the world.. y u treat me like this.. blah blah blah.. haha.. i miss this feeling.. dang..

flaminglambo said...

Jase - Hahaha! Edison's backside looks like you lah.

Cuckoo - Don't worry mate. I think the courting stage is the best and most exciting. Enjoy it while you can. The craziest thing I've done is sprinting into McDs from across the road in Bangsar and asking this chick whom I've never met in my life for her phone number. I don't know what got into me but she totally captivated me.

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