The Venus fly trap.

I was standing on the train travelling to work this morning when my eyes caught sight of this dude who was sitting down. I don’t know why I was looking at him but it’s one of those moments where you have to park your eyes somewhere and try not to make weird eye contacts while in a crowded place, especially when I was on the part of the train where the passengers sat facing each other.

Anyway, this guy looked really focused on what he was reading. It was kinda’ like he was heading to an exam or something. My mind started drifting while my eyes checked him out. I don’t know why I did it but I definitely don’t swing that way (not that there is anything wrong with that). Bear in mind that this was pre my morning caffeine hit so maybe it explains my awkward behaviour.

I noticed that he had really cool glasses on. He wasn’t wearing sunnies or anything. It was just a pair of nicely shaped rectangular spectacles. I wonder where he got those. Then, my eyes started wandering lower. He could use a workout judging from the obvious overhang of the mid-section but nothing too serious to hinder his mobility.

Then moving further south, BAM! My eyes widened and alarm bells started ringing in my head with a big neon red sign that reads, ‘SNAKE ON THA’ MOTHAF#$%ING TRAIN!!!’. The guy had the Venus fly trap manoeuvre happening. He probably couldn’t see it because his gut was in the way and if his Bruce Banner had turned into the Hulk, I would’ve had to resist the urges to pan it back down like one of those games you see at fun fairs or amusement parks.

I was a split second away from telling the poor guy but a thought flashed through my mind. What if he says, ‘Thanks for noticing’ as gratitude and somebody hears it? I don’t think I can take that kind of embarrassment. Furthermore, he would probably ask himself what I was doing looking there in the first place. I know I would. So, I left it at that. It was a windy day so he’d probably feel it sooner or later. For his sake, I hope its sooner.