Exams - A love/hate relationship.

Fear, anxiety, doubt and anger followed by relief, elation, joy and retail therapy.

Those are the emotions that I go through when it comes to exams. In fact, those are the emotions I went through for the past couple of weeks and I have the battle scars to prove it. I’ve put on a few kilos, stubbles on my chin, personal hygiene and fashion sense was thrown out the window, bags around my eyes, my room’s a mess (like it’s any different without exams) and I’m overdue for a facial. In short, I’m a wreck and my brain still feels like jelly from all that cramming, uploading and downoading.

Immediately after the exam, I was so tired but so awake at the same time. My body was completely screwed up and I was running on pure adrenaline. I decided to calm myself down and headed to the courts to shoot some hoops. It helped put some normalcy back into the body.

I felt the burden of the past couple of weeks being lifted from me which was great but the taste of pure and innocent happiness was even better. I reckon this brand of happiness is the most important for charging up the spirit and maintaining the well-being of the soul. It is also the hardest to find, especially in lives that have been battered down to a routine. I used to be able to find it in religion but that's probably a blog entry for another day.

Exams can spice up a life of routine and consistency by jamming itself right up your ass. Put it this way, the challenges on Fear Factor are for wusses compared to the thoughts and perceived repurcussions that go through my mind around exam time. I’d gladly chomp down a bowl of worms if you give me a hi-D on my paper anytime because the fear of failure is scarier that anything you can put before me.

I’ve heard the advice of not cramming and pacing the workload but I get too complacent when an exam is more than a month away and a lot of stuff just don’t seem to stick when there is no urgency. Plus, it’s tough to work all day, come home and hit the books. The brain just screams at you saying vulgar things along the lines of, ‘Duuuuuudde! You’re shittin’ me right?! I slog all day for you and this is how you repay me? Now, shut your trap and let me watch House bitch!’

I’m really gonna’ start my preparation a month before d-day when I do my next subject and see how I go……although that’s what I say after every test since high school.

Yoda said, "Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering."

I think Yoda was taking his Jedi exams.

Sheila Majid

I used to have a huge crush on her when I was a teenager. After listening to a few of her songs recently, it brought back a lot of memories from my school days in St. Johns.

A truly talented singer.

Product placement.

Ok, this beast have been parked outside one of the Macquarie Bank buildings for the past few days. Why were they there?

In case you haven't heard, news got out that Alan Moss, the boss of Mac Bank (a.k.a The Millionaires Factory) got paid AU$33.5 million for the year. A cool AU$12 million pay rise! That's $12,000,0....my finger just cramped from punching that many zeros. Just makes you think how much the bank is paying him while he takes a dump on office time.

Anyway, people are crying foul but I say good for him!

Oh, back to the Lambo. The car was parked there as part of the luxury car dealer's product placement strategy. For a car like that, I reckon the interior was a downer. Where's the bling?



Paris Hilton Inc.

What can you say? The girl's got the life. I remember asking my wife if she was an actress when she first registered on my radar.

'Socialite', was her response.

I was like, 'Ohhhhh...err, what's does a socialite do?'.

That word has Paris Hilton's picture next to it in the dictionary. Thanks to her, I now know what the word actually means...more or less. Then, I looked up the word 'slut' and lo and behold, there was Paris' picture again!

What exactly did the girl get famous for? Turning up at high-profile parties? Having a rich and famous grandad? Initially, she was just famous for being a spoilt brat but look who's laughing all the way to the bank now? She was famous for doing nothing and then probably thought, 'Oh well, might as well make money off these suckers', and launched a movie and music 'career', had a hand in internet porn and recently, sent to the slammers to seal a gangsta' reputation

Coincidences? I think not!. She's probably building her street credibility before releasing a rap album or maybe a mocktail...or two.

The girl's getting paid 6 figures to attend launches and premiers. Basically getting paid to just show up at an event! If I asked you what Brad Pitt, Michael Jordan or Madonna is famous for, you'd tell me straight away. But what is Paris famous for?

That's the GENIUS of Paris.

Now, where can I get these tees?