Another Nike athelete? Coincidence?

I think Nike's at it again. This time, the fuss is over Roger Federer's wizardry. The clip creating all the hoo-ha was supposedly shot behind the scenes at a Gillette shoot. Here's the clip:

Now, there is no official word from Roger or any of his sponsors on whether what he did was real or not but for those of you who have not seen the other clips featuring Nike athletes that had audiences guessing its authenticity, here they are:

What's even more amazing is that the first day of polling done by the Sydney Morning Herald (link here) shows 68% of the 6780 respondents believing that it's real! The result really surprised me. Maybe they were all impressionable kids.

There is no doubting that Nike (if it was them) is a marketing genius. I have to admit that when I saw the Kobe clip when it went viral, it got me thinking if he'd really done it. However, coincidently, Nike later collaborated with Aston Martin to release limited edition pairs of Kobe's signature shoes. They have created heroes out of the elite atheletes that they endorse. A lot of their ads do provide inspiration (I have some of the older Michael Jordan and Lance Armstrong ads saved on my computer to provide me with that pick-me-up when I needed one) but do we sometimes exaggerate the capabilities of some of these athletes in our heads? As Tiger, Kobe and even Jordan have shown us, they are human and just as susceptible to desires and failures like any one of us. I think it's important to remember that. As far as their talent is concerned , whoever's doing it is really pushing into Hollywood's territory of make believe with the twist being instead of actors, they're using real athletes. AWESOME!

VIOLATED!!!

So, I went to the gym last Friday evening for a long overdue workout. Friday evenings at the gym is normally a quiet affair because the female gym junkies are back home picking out a push-up bra, waxing and putting on the finishing touches to that 12th layer of foundation to hide those vein popping arms from all those bicep curls in anticipation of a night of hardcore partying. They hope that by the end of all that preparation, they are able to step out looking like a WWE Diva instead of Xena, warrior princess or the She Hulk.

The male gym junkies on the other hand is home trying to make their bodies smell like a perfume counter and picking out an outfit that they recently bought from the kid’s section of a departmental store. Nothing defines a sexy man like bulging muscles ready to rip through those tight constricting clothes. A word of caution - stay clear if you see shirt buttons that are about to pop because some of these so-called shootings that you hear in clubs are actually buttons with such high velocity that it pierces through human flesh. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. One could go blind or get an instant third nostril from one of these merciless projectiles.

Anyway, after an exhausting session, I went on to hit the showers. There I was enjoying the refreshing gush of warm water massaging my face and chest while trying hard to subdue the reflex of breaking into a song to declare to the world how happy and relaxed I was when I really should’ve been thinking about investing in a pair of Speedos. After a minute or two, I turned around to let my back and my royal buns in on the hot water action. This is when I noticed a camera lens looking at my python!!! A fucking mobile phone was being pointed at me from the opening at the bottom of the shower screens. Instinctively, I stuck out my foot at the lens and shouted, ‘Oi!’, but in hindsight, I should have screamed like a schoolgirl to get some help, roundhouse kicked the doors open and jumped the guy while he’s down. Put it down to shock for the slow reaction which incidentally also reduced the python to an earthworm in a nanosecond. I hurriedly grabbed my towel and went looking for the pervert but he was no where to be found. I made a complaint to the staff, went home and crawled into a fetal position on the bed and proceeded to cry myself to sleep the next couple of days. I was, in a sense, ass-fucked by a mobile phone.

The fucking homo probably has footage of me in the shower plastered all over the www by now or worse, jacking off to a clip of me in the shower. I don’t know how long the dude was there but if I ever see that sicko again, he better be prepared to have that phone jammed up his pee hole.

So, watch your ass in the shower…literally!

Boom! Shake, shake, shake the room.

In today's paper:

Russia said today it had tested the world's most powerful vacuum bomb.

"Test results of the new airborne weapon have shown that its efficiency and power is commensurate with a nuclear weapon," Alexander Rukshin, deputy head of Russia's armed force chief of staff, told Russia's ORT First Channel television.

"You will now see it in action, the bomb which has no match in the world is being tested at a military site," the report said. It showed a Tupolev Tu-160 strategic bomber dropping the bomb over a testing ground. A large explosion followed.

A vacuum bomb, or fuel-air explosive, causes widespread devastation.

A typical bomb of that type is dropped or fired, the first explosive charge bursts open the container at a predetermined height and disperses the fuel in a cloud that mixes with oxygen.

A second charge ignites the cloud, which can engulf objects or buildings.

"At the same time, I want to stress that the action of this weapon does not contaminate the environment, in contrast to a nuclear one."

So, the Russians have developed a more environmentally friendly way of killing people.

Whoopsidoo! Somebody hand them a Nobel Green Prize already.

These military people are so thoughtful aren't they? It's like they're saying, 'Hey, look on the bright side. We kill in the thousands but we're not monsters. Those of you that were lucky enough to be alive gets to breed without having to worry about your kids turning into a teenage mutant ninja turtle or something. We've even created the hole in which you can build a lake or something. Enjoy and behave or else.'

Not to be outdone, the US is coming up with one that will be fueled entirely with the fart of it's citizens (Made in USA BIATCH!!!). Still in the testing phase, reports have confirmed that they just need to find a way to efficiently bottle the fart because current processes seem to lack the ability to filter out the occasional follow through that comes from its citizens forcing a fart too hard.

Oh well, shit happens. Hello Cold War...

WTF! #3

From slamxhype

Robot engineering doctor Sankai from Yamato house industrial corporation has revealed their Power Suit.

This prototype cost 2,000,000 Yen (AU$20,500) and expected to retail at 500,000 Yen (AU$5,100). Originally designed for the welfare institution this suit supports the body and helps the disable to move freely. Other application would include labour intense occupations to enhance their physical strength!

COOL!!!

Now that's what I call a Power Suit! They remind me of the Headmasters from The Transformers. I can definitely use one of these babies!

WTF #1

It has been a while since I've had to buy a textbook. Little did I know that these days, walking into a bookshop is like walking into a high-fashion boutique like Prada or LV. At least, when I go into these places, I am prepared to be shocked by the prices that are as long as the numbers at the bottom of their barcode. Maybe even crack a wise joke on why they insist on using the rupiah as currency. But never in my life did I think my friggin' textbook would cost $160! That's like RM$450! A whole month's wage for some people. Man! Screw wearing designer outfits to show off. Next time, just carry a few textbooks.