Be careful what you wish for.

Two-oh-oh-nine is now more than 60% lighter and it feels like only a sneeze ago that I started my new job.

They say time flies when you're having fun...or when it's so busy that you don't have time to fix a wedgie. One which I've had since January. Now, imagine my discomfort.

When I left my old job, I was looking forward to the challenges that accompanied the perquisites of my new job. In fact, I was pumped! Bigger company, nicer offices and equipment, great training and more people to interact with, what's not to look forward to right?

Well, the title of this entry probably reflects my sentiment.

The politics (BS in real speak) I've had to deal with so far is incredible. People covering their asses when things go slightly off track, the two - no, multiple faced characters that can be your best friend one minute and stab you with anything that they can grab hold off the next. There are no loyalties, it's everyone for themselves! And people gossip here like their lives depended on it. Apparently, depending on who you talk to, everyone is sleeping with somebody in the office.

Heck, I've worked in organisations that are larger than this in previous postings and I didn't have to deal with so much BS there. Personally, I find that it shows a lot about a person's character if they admit to a fuckup and fix it rather than blaming someone or everyone other than themselves and nothing gets done.

Experiences in life can open one's eyes and if one is submersed in an environment long enough, I believe it will definitely affect them somewhat if left unchecked.

The question I have been asking myself is - do I stay true to myself or do I want to play the game and be bent and molded into somebody that has so many layers that you cannot tell who you're dealing with?

There are 3 options for me. 1) Rise up and take the high road, focusing on what is right 2) Be a Swiss cheese and stay neutral or 3) Go with the flow.

I've been struggling with this question more so in the past couple of months than ever before trying to figure this out to get things done but mainly to reevaluate myself and who I want to be.

I am proud to say I've thought it through and I'm going to do what blue eyes did - I'm doing it my way.

Tis the season to be jolly.

As the carol goes - "It's beginning to feel like Christmas...".

Most people are on their Christmas/New Year break now. The upcoming week and a half of rest and relaxation always put people in a good mood. Traveling to work today was a breeze. Traffic was smooth and there was not many people waiting at the bus stops along the way.

People that I meet around this time of year are usually chatty, cheery and relaxed. Even strangers. In this festive season, everybody's got something to talk about after the usual 'How are yous?'. If it wasn't for the holiday season, strangers, myself or a 'Hi-Bye' friend would comment about the weather which is usually a sign for, 'Look, I'm racking my brains trying to come up with a topic for conversation and I've got nothing.'. The question - 'What are you doing for the long break?' usually gets the banter going until it ends with a polite farewell and the season's greeting which is very pleasant.

Instead of being harassed to get a job done on an unreasonable deadline from a client or a third party, there were a few incidences this week that could only be explained as one of the many miracles of Christmas.

The usual tightly wound nutters that have my balls at the palm of their hands said with a smile and cheer in their tone of voice, 'Oh, don't worry. We'll deal with it in the new year.'. Now if it was any other month of the year, they would have squeezed.

One of them initially asked us to prepare all the information for a meeting that she wanted to have on the last day before most offices close for the year. She did this with a letter and a couple of stern phone calls. We left 3 messages with her since last week and she finally calls yesterday to say that she was going on holidays and we're postponing the meeting till next year.

If I was a newbie, I would've stressed on her unreasonable demands but knowing the organisation that she works for, I knew that there was no way she would have a meeting on the last day before we break for the holidays. In fact, they would've already been in holiday mode a whole week before the official closing date. What she said to me initially was probably right before the Christmas drug kicked in. The reason for my calls were basically to tell her that she's dreaming but she beat me to the punchline.

The feeling of Christmas for me here in Australia is very much different from Malaysia. In Malaysia, it's church service in the morning, big meals at restaurants or a party and hanging out in malls. In fact, every public holiday we get we somehow end up in malls.

Over here, everything is closed unless 7-Eleven's your dig. So, it has more of a homely and family oriented feeling to it. I'd even say it's more relaxed cos' hanging out at a beach where your eyeballs and mind get to stretch out a little and not caring about anything besides flies getting in your mouth seems pretty good to me.

Merry Christmas and stay safe on the roads.

PS: I've heard flies are a good source of protein so, don't fret too much.








PPS: *Do not open until after Christmas* I lied.

Different strokes for different folks.

It’s Friday and our office has a dress-down policy on Fridays. I love this policy cos’ I feel more comfortable in sneakers and jeans but some of the things I've seen paraded around offices with this policy is downright insane!

In my first job, there was no such policy even though the practice has been adopted by many top companies with rave reviews from studies conducted that it boosted the morale of the employees. There were several requests for it but the idea was thrown out the window before the ink dried.

Today, I can understand why.



When I walked into the office, I was somewhat surprised by what one of my team members was wearing. She was supposed to be on an assignment at a client’s place but was in the office to organise her things before leaving for that assignment. I would consider the black jeans, sneakers & pullover that she was wearing inappropriate when there is a professional engagement with a valued client but I couldn’t bring myself to tell her. It was not that her attire was outrageous or anything, just untidy. The things that went through my mind were:

a) Maybe she thinks that it's appropriate. Am I going to tell her what she should and shouldn't wear?
b) Am I being too petty? Is this micro-management to the extreme?
c) The girl’s new here. Give her a break
d) Maybe I’m old and too conservative

Rightly or wrongly, I took the coward’s approach and asked HR to send a copy of the policy to all new staff. Luckily, we had 3 new employees in the last couple of months.



Here’s the gist of it -“Casual wear should be “reasonable”, i.e. no shorts, no thongs, no sandals, no singlet etc during the summer and no fancy or party clothes”.

Looking at it, I feel that it’s all about the individual’s taste and I really think that the rule is open to interpretation. One man’s MC Hammer pants could be another’s work slacks don’t you think?

But then again, if they were to cover all bases and list the ‘do’s’ and ‘don’ts’, they might as well come with some tips on grooming and professionally taken pictures on glossy pages as examples. The memo will probably look more like a Vogue magazine by the time it's done.

Wonder when platform shoes will come back in style? I've always wanted to be a 6 footer.

Exams - A love/hate relationship.

Fear, anxiety, doubt and anger followed by relief, elation, joy and retail therapy.

Those are the emotions that I go through when it comes to exams. In fact, those are the emotions I went through for the past couple of weeks and I have the battle scars to prove it. I’ve put on a few kilos, stubbles on my chin, personal hygiene and fashion sense was thrown out the window, bags around my eyes, my room’s a mess (like it’s any different without exams) and I’m overdue for a facial. In short, I’m a wreck and my brain still feels like jelly from all that cramming, uploading and downoading.

Immediately after the exam, I was so tired but so awake at the same time. My body was completely screwed up and I was running on pure adrenaline. I decided to calm myself down and headed to the courts to shoot some hoops. It helped put some normalcy back into the body.

I felt the burden of the past couple of weeks being lifted from me which was great but the taste of pure and innocent happiness was even better. I reckon this brand of happiness is the most important for charging up the spirit and maintaining the well-being of the soul. It is also the hardest to find, especially in lives that have been battered down to a routine. I used to be able to find it in religion but that's probably a blog entry for another day.

Exams can spice up a life of routine and consistency by jamming itself right up your ass. Put it this way, the challenges on Fear Factor are for wusses compared to the thoughts and perceived repurcussions that go through my mind around exam time. I’d gladly chomp down a bowl of worms if you give me a hi-D on my paper anytime because the fear of failure is scarier that anything you can put before me.

I’ve heard the advice of not cramming and pacing the workload but I get too complacent when an exam is more than a month away and a lot of stuff just don’t seem to stick when there is no urgency. Plus, it’s tough to work all day, come home and hit the books. The brain just screams at you saying vulgar things along the lines of, ‘Duuuuuudde! You’re shittin’ me right?! I slog all day for you and this is how you repay me? Now, shut your trap and let me watch House bitch!’

I’m really gonna’ start my preparation a month before d-day when I do my next subject and see how I go……although that’s what I say after every test since high school.

Yoda said, "Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering."

I think Yoda was taking his Jedi exams.

Assignment blues.

Highlighter? Check.
Coffee? Check.
Jordan games for motivation? Check.
Mirror to check if bald spot's getting bigger? Check.

This is definitely one of the tougher units in the course so far. It's question based and there are no suggested texts to read (at least I don't have to blow another $100+ on a text book), just some legislations and a whole bunch of cases where I have to extract the relevant arguments and judgements to back my answer. There are 24 questions in the unit. We go through 2 questions in each lecture and there is an average of 10 cases for each question. 10 cases! 240 cases in the unit and it's a closed book exam! Maybe I should start tattooing some points on my arms like Michael Scofield in Prison Break. Anyway, a lot of the time, there are no right or wrong answers, just how strong one's argument is. Maybe that's what frustrates me so much. No wait, some of the language the 'Lords' used in like 1903 frustrates me even more! Was the word, 'fuck' invented then? Because after reading 3 pages of reasoning, I think what they're trying to say is, 'Thou art fucked'.

What looks like shit, smells like shit, tastes like shit and feels like shit should usually be shit! But if it goes to the court, shit can sometimes turn into wakami sushi.

Mmmmmm...wakami sushi...

Man! No wonder they say good lawyers are usually good bullshitters too.

One thing's for sure, I find that I've learned a lot in terms of logical thinking and deductive reasoning. Sometimes, it drives me nuts because you're in 2 minds with some questions and both arguments for and against the subject matter is concrete but you can only have 1 answer. There is no 'draw'. That's when I think I am about to develop some split personality disorder or something because one minute I might think that the decision should be this but the next minute, I'm sure that it's another. I definitely don't like it when there is no correct answer to a question. Unfortunately, that's where a lot of the world's problems lie. The grey area.



*Pic taken with Sony Ericsson K800. Not bad. Not bad at all.

Debriefing.

Well, lecture 1 is in the bag.

It was a pretty good lecture. The pace was manageable and the environment was, well, cold at first but it was not because it’s the middle of winter. It was more to do with the bunch of stone faced lawyers in the class coming straight from work with their power suits still dripping with blood from the day’s toil. There weren’t many full-time students seeing that the course is pretty much catered for the working crowd but I certainly didn’t expect so many lawyers.

The lecturer was a bubbly young lady probably in her early thirties. I shall call her Berlei seeing that she kept adjusting her bra strap every few minutes. Berlei kept it light with her bad jokes but it certainly bought a few laughs for being so lame. I hope the other lecturer that we’re having for the second half of the semester is as cool.

There weren’t any chicks that made me do a double-take from scanning the room so I tried to refocus and lowered my standards a notch or two. Heck! I think I must’ve lowered it so much that it sunk to Hugh Grant’s Divine Brown standard. There were a couple of knockouts (bear in mind we’re talking about a whole new standard here). There was this Asian chick which looked alright considering that I could only see her side profile (I was referring to the face) and there was this tall and slim brunette. I think she’s either from South Africa or Eastern Europe. Maybe even Germany judging from the language she was speaking in. I can’t really tell what language it was but it involved a lot of hawking (Achtung baby!). She has a nice face but a really crooked neck… like a vulture.

As predicted the nerds were at the front row. Their textbooks were out and already tagged. There was this dude, probably in his mid-thirties, with gold rimmed glasses, scruffy hair and a really red complexion like he’s about to explode. There was no mistake that he was the king nerd (Urkel). Urkel stopped Berlei explaining the definition of ‘capital’ and ‘income’ to give us the story of the ‘tree’ and the ‘fruit’. I will never look at the words ‘capital’ and ‘income’ the same again. I guess he must have warmed up after this because he was murmuring answers whenever a question was asked. This guy could be the source of entertainment with the lack of hotties around. Who knows, there might be more stories forthcoming and I might actually learn something.

I think I’m gonna’ be just fine.

School's in!

Dangit! First lecture tonight and I'm already dreading it.

I remember the whole study and work routine which I had to endure years ago. I don't know how I did it the last time but it seems like it's getting harder to find the motivation to get back into the groove.

Lecture 1 is usually a reconnaissance mission. I would normally skip this but I think being out of the game for so long, it's important to get a feel for the class or at least to establish a position in the lecture theatre. The players to take into account are:

1) The lecturer
2) The nerds
3) The hotties

The lecturer should be in top form tonight seeing that we're a new bunch and should show a more human side as we all get a feel for each other. Who knows? Maybe at the end of the semester, some of us might actually need to 'feel' him/her to get a few marks on our papers. I have had my fair share of zombie lecturers in the past where they would write on the white board or talk into the projector screen as soon as they come into class while we scribble frantically into our notebooks (looking back at some of my notes, I think it can pass as Arabic). Some smartasses actually bring tape recorders in at the beginning of class and come back at the end to collect them. With lectures like this, I find that there is no time to process a thought let alone ask questions so, I need to cut out the fat and scout for the work horses/nerds.

They are usually the ones sitting at the front row with their super duper fantastico calculators, multi-coloured highlighters lined neatly on the bench, text books that are already tagged for the first 3 lectures and crowds the lecturer like a groupie at a concert after every lecture. These are the ones that you can rely on for the most concise notes. Plus, they're generally pretty cool and easy to get along with. Just ask a lot of questions.

Then there are the hotties. The hotties serve 2 functions for a man like me. With a license (more like a probationary pass) to perv only, they are a source of motivation to attend the otherwise boring sessions by zombie lecturers or to keep me awake during the lectures. It's good training for the eyes too. A game where I try not to get into any weird eye contacts with the target.

Then comes the positioning of my royal ass. You see, it's important not to be in the front row. Not because the nerds are there but it's rude and difficult to make a getaway if I need to split mid-lecture if it gets too boring. Being way down the back means I would be squinting my eyes half the time which could affect my relationship with the hotties seeing that it throws the whole cool look that I will be trying to establish. So, I shall see y'all within diving distance from the exit.

It's game time...